chronicles of drunkeness

2005-12-15T15:25:00.000Z

From Guardian Unlimited:

Hail to the New chief

Bush's 2000 campaign tactics could prove to be a map to political fortune for British Conservatives

Sidney Blumenthal
Thursday December 15, 2005
The Guardian

At the low point of his presidency, after a disastrous first year of his second term, his domestic programmes out of favour, his foreign policy out of strategy, George Bush has at last attracted an imitator. David Cameron, 39, the new leader of the Conservative party, a fresh face without wear and tear, unabashedly claims to personify the future. He seems to embrace aspects of Blair's policies, so as to present himself as Blairite without the burdens of having been Blair: a "reformer" without a past. His implied promise is to conserve Blair's achievements and continue some version of their logic, while casting doubt on the commitment of Blair's rivals and critics within his party. Cameron is New Labour without Labour, just New. But the strategy is not new; it is adapted from the playbook of Bush's 2000 campaign.

Article continues
Bush confronted a popular two-term Democratic president credited with peace and prosperity. Clinton's vice president was his natural successor. Republican positions on domestic policy were almost uniformly unpopular.

As governor of Texas, Bush turned his inexperience in national government into a virtue: he was outside the fray and free of its rancour. The Republicans had shut down the federal government twice and impeached Clinton. Bush promised to "change the tone in Washington". He said that he was "a uniter, not a divider".

It was Bush who first assumed the mantle of "compassionate conservatism". He picked a fight with the draconian Republican house majority leader, Tom DeLay, who was against Clinton's programme for deferring tax-credit payments to the working poor. He also distanced himself from some of his own party's positions on social issues, saying that the Republicans had too often portrayed "America as slouching toward Gomorrah".

Bush appeared to reject the right-wing economic hard line, instead emphasising issues associated with the Democrats such as education. It was essential for him to try to erase Democratic management of the economy from the campaign. Under Clinton, 22 million jobs were created, poverty reduced by one-quarter, and the greatest deficit had been replaced by the greatest budget surplus. Bush fostered the notion that none of this had happened as a result of difficult policy decisions and that the economy ran on automatic pilot.

Bush's press conference to announce he would not answer questions about his past drug use and alcoholism made him an empathetic figure of his generation in contrast with traditional Republican troglodytes. And the attacks on Bush as shallow, simplistic and ignorant only contributed to the image of the scion as a man of the people.

In order to shift discussion away from Bush's proposals, which were not generally accepted, he strained to make the election a contest of personalities. Al Gore was painted as hopelessly dour, dull and dutiful. His mastery of policy was turned into an object of derision, a nerdy quirk. Before the debates, the formidable Gore was depicted as mean, nasty and unfair. Gore was finally goaded into taking the bait and tried to demonstrate his niceness by agreeing with the nice Bush. Clinton had advised relentlessly drawing the sharpest possible differences on policy but was ignored, and nearly tore his hair out.

Once in office, a closed, harsh and ideological president replaced the seemingly open-minded, tolerant and pragmatic candidate. But the palimpsest of the nearly forgotten earlier Bush remained to be discovered by David Cameron as a map to political fortune. Cameron's profession to be a true "compassionate conservative" is step one.

· Sidney Blumenthal, a former senior adviser to President Clinton, is the author of The Clinton Wars

sidney_blumenthal@yahoo.com

chronicles of drunkeness

2005-12-12T13:43:00.000Z

chronicles of drunkeness

Came back to manchester, in vague limbo, what is happening? My mother managed to push me back towards rails...

Medlea: my:Week

2005-12-01T17:20:00.000Z

off home from uni thisevening, thankfuck... dodgy term

Random putting on some student puppy fat

2005-09-29T14:23:00.000Z

boss that overhang you mauler

2005-09-28T15:00:00.000Z

Mummy, Daddy and the kids

2005-09-22T18:01:00.000Z

torchlight

2005-09-15T14:55:00.000Z

View from top of Mont Blanc

2005-09-13T08:05:00.000Z

Above the clouds

2005-09-12T17:55:00.000Z

Ollie's wierd nipple

2005-09-08T14:52:00.000Z

Tartiflette

2005-09-07T14:52:00.000Z

Summit ridge of mont Blanc de Tacul

2005-09-03T10:51:00.000Z

gatecrasher classics

2005-08-12T23:57:00.000Z

Just acquired broadband

2005-08-06T02:07:00.000Z

Will shortly be bringing you numerous updates as my mother hasfinally capitulated and we have broadband at home!

Getting pissed in Rome

2005-07-03T14:39:00.000Z

Glastonbury

2005-06-23T15:17:00.000Z

Our tent is in the bottom left hand corner of this picture, it was green... sadly it is no longer with us!!

Torremolinos

2005-06-09T21:35:00.000Z

Letterbox

2005-05-20T23:33:00.000Z

Which is worse? Stairs or letterbox? Any answers....

Stairs

2005-05-20T23:29:00.000Z

What's wrong with this patient?

2005-05-20T09:30:00.000Z

The Bop - Preview

2005-05-19T22:22:00.000Z

Sometimes the Dalton Crew have a challenge, usually set and completed by Tom Mole.
Previous challenges have included:
The Vodka challenge - drink as much as you can before Club Trop
The Boss the Boddys challenge - six cans in one hour
The White Lightning Challenge - a three litre bottle before Sankeys Soap
The Centurion Challenge - a shot of beer per minute for one hundred minutes
there have of course been others - some so successful that I can't remember them.

I don't know whether the theme is immediately obvious, but they all tend to revolve around drinking alcohol - in abundance. This is usually a disadvantage for Tom Brookes, who is very bad at this.
I feel unable to use anything other than political rhetoric to describe the spectacular about turn of Mole in this regard. Tomorrow's challenge is the detox challenge. No alcohol. At all. Not a sausage (they're high in saturated fats).

It doesn't even hit me the hardest. Tomorrow is a birthday bop; Andy, Graham and Ed have all celebrated, of a fashion, birthdays this past week.
Imagine the scene: drunken coursemate accosts Graham and asks him if he wants a drink to celebrate.

Graham: Oh yeah, cheers mate.
Coursemate: Cool, I'll join the queue, what do you want?
G: A cup of tea please.
CM: I'm sorry? I'm sure you just said you'd like a cup of tea...
G: I did.
CM: hahahahahahhaahhaha...
G: What's funny? I can't drink tonight; besides they sell it here - 60p if I remember rightly, just below the mineral water.
CM: Of course I know that! Don't you realise that it won't be any of your highfalutin teas? It'll be from a plastic cup too!
G: *mutters under breath, whilst blushing* Green Monster please.

After initial misgivings at the plan, I now am warming to the idea. It'll help all of our exams and it'll be a change. After all the P managed it for the whole of lent, so it shouldn't be too bad.

Kenco helpline

2005-05-18T21:31:00.000Z

Graham and the Coffee

2005-05-18T20:13:00.000Z

Today being Graham's birthday, and the day before exams start, he naturally wanted to try something new. After all, at 17 he could drive, at 18 vote and get married; what is there at 19?

After much discussion with Jonny and Tom, he decided that he would try and get to like the taste of coffee. Liking to think of himself as a petit-connoisseur of tea; he naturally makes a good pot. Having never really drunk coffee and having only made it using the machine and powder at work he needed instruction in this august task.

The kettle was boiled in advance, to save time whilst getting the equipment.

The initial search for directions proved fruitless. Not wanting to give up he tried again: a small section of the label yielded the following nugget
"Coffee Line
Call 0808 100 8787
for free coffee advice (UK)"
Resisting the temptation to snort some, the number was dialed - a man answered the phone, instantly, who sounded genuinely surprised to be called into work.

[My thoughts are added in italics throughout this dialogue.]

Coffee Advisor: H-Hello Kenco Coffeeline *name* [It's to be something classy, the two strike a good rapport, how about Matt? ] speaking...
Graham: Hello there!
CA: Hello, how can I help you?
G: It's a bit embarrassing really, I've never really made a cup of coffee before - where do I begin? [Starts off on completely the wrong tack; he's honest! I'd have said I was making coffee for the prospective mother-in-law, or my new boss at least.]
CA: Is it freeze dried coffee you have there?
[Long Pause]
CA: Which variety do you have?
G: AAhhhh. [Bisto!] Kenco Really Smooth...
CA: AAhhhh yes, a good choice sir. That is freeze dried coffee.
G: AAhhhh.
CA: Yes, quite. Now what you want to do is get a teaspoon of those coffee granules, it can be heaped or level depending on your taste, and add it to the bottom of your cup. [Quite hard to add it to the top of the cup]
G: Mmhmm
CA: Freshly draw some water [I never could get the hang of this, maybe that's why I always did so badly in art lessons, I always put the glint in the wrong place] and boil it. After boiling, leave it to cool down for a minute or so. Then pour the water over the coffee granules until the cup is nearly full.
G: Yes, that makes sense.
CA: Now stir the coffee and pour as much milk as you like into the cup [provided it doesn't overflow] and stir that in too. Then you can add sugar to taste.
G: Thank you very much. You've been most helpful...
CA: That's quite alright, thank you for calling the Kenco Coffee Line.
G: No, no, thank you!

Returning to the kitchen only to find that the water in the kettle had cooled down again, he braced himself for the trial.
Offering to make a cup of coffee for the Peacock too, he proceeded to make it to the exact specification given, even using a proper measuring spoon that his mum had gave him in a set. [Maybe she thought he'd be baking a lot at university...] Not having a stopwatch, he made do with a clock to time the cooling of the kettle.
He professed this to be the nicest cup of coffee he'd drunk.
"Yes, I could rather get a taste for this."

* * * * *
[This is a literary device to indicate that some time passes between the preceding and the forthcoming.]

"I'm going to phone him back and say thank you!"
Phoning from the phone in the rooms of Dalton Ellis is a wearisome task. As an example:
Lift up reciever and dial 66
[A pause of some seconds]
Robotic Female: Wel-come please en-ter your PIN
Impatient resident: Grrrrr, [praying at the same time not to make any mistakes] Done

* * * * *

RF: You have Four Pounds and nine-ty sev-en pence remaining. Your credit is less than fi-vé pounds. To add credit to your account using a credit press one...

* * * * *

[The most depressing mistake here is to mistype the phone number.]
So here we go:
0808 100 87 87
[phew!]
Beep Beep Beep.
RF: Unable to connect.
IR: GAH!

Five minutes later:

He reaches the number and is played some classical music down the phone which sounds as though it is actually being played on the Heinz tin I used as a phone with my friend when I was 6. The first voice you hear is a computer telling that the phone call will be recorded for training purposes. After several announcements that "One of our operators will get through to you as soon as possible." a man called Nick answered the phone.
He didn't sound lively and full of vim, he sounded tired.

Nick: Thank-you for phoning the Kenco Coffeeline, this is Nick speaking, how can I help you?
Graham: I was phoning to convey my thanks actually: I phoned earlier and asked for instructions on how to make a nice cup of coffee and was given some. I then had the nicest cup of coffee I've had.
[Short pause]
N: Oh! Right. Erm... can you remember which of our team you spoke to?
G: Dash it, I've forgotten. Might it have been you?
[The tone of the man's voice changes here from bemused surprise to certainty]
N: No. No. It wasn't me.
G: Oh. [Figuring that this means there are at least three guys working there.] Right, well... I felt that I should express my gratitude.
N: Well, I'll pass on your thanks to the whole team.
G: Good.

It is fairly clear what happens next. Nick will stand up from his chair and using his headset as a gavel, draw order to the vast Kenco Coffee Line department. He will then proceed to play back the whole phone call to his colleagues. They will all laugh.

I'm sure if you want to phone and have conversations with them you can. You can even rest easy in the knowledge that it is a free call, unlike the evil dairy from That Mitchell and Webb Sound.

Matty G joins in the fracas

2005-05-16T22:25:00.000Z

Welcome to the raw vegetable eating, blonde, enigmatic and very cool Matty G. Joining the drunken events commentator team!

2005-05-16T22:17:00.000Z

Matty G himself, on top form!!!

Skype

2005-05-16T21:17:00.000Z

Everyone should get skype and a mic because then there would be no need for endless typing on msn.... and its really cheap to phone landlines and its free to call other computers..... im not being paid to say this

Funland!

2005-05-16T16:59:00.000Z

Check out the stickmen link........ it makes me dizzy! Never get bored of it1

Progress test - ridiculous

2005-05-16T16:34:00.000Z

42. A 52 year old hospital cleaner of Jamaican origin complains of shortness of breath which has grually worsened over the last sixth months. He has a history of hypertension and joint pain. An X-ray shows a very fine mottled pattern, and a blood test shows hyprcalcaemia.

What is the most likely cause of the patient's breathlessness?

A Atypical pneumonia
B Carcinoma of the bronchus
C Sarcoidosis
D Secondary cacinoma
E tuberculosis

Answer: Who knows

The attic/roof

2005-05-14T23:02:00.000Z

Dalton Ellis Main Hall: Ecstatic to find the way into the attic and then onto the main roof, was like something out of Harry potter. We've chalked our names up alongside students dating back to 1972. Quite an adventure.

Fight Time

2005-05-06T23:31:00.000Z

After a pint had been pored over me and they said they were 23... Stevey seemed to be quite up for it!

Blowjob

2005-05-06T22:47:00.000Z

Jonny taking advantage of me!

jonny, me, mole and liam

2005-05-06T22:30:00.000Z

Finding ourselves at the bop again... the usual carnage would ensue!! Sure i've seen that shirt before!

What i did on election night

2005-05-06T04:10:00.000Z

While Blair was winning the election, i was losing (a small amount) of blood in MRI... casualty was brilliant fun. And whoever it was that drove me home, please e-mail me!

Vote Less

2005-05-05T13:51:00.000Z

Munged

2005-05-02T22:26:00.000Z

Munging.......... look it up on wikipedia! Officialy the most disgusting concept ever dreamt up!

It doesn't matter

2005-05-02T15:03:00.000Z

First Very Severe

2005-05-01T23:22:00.000Z

Sheffield, to visit olli for the weekend. Sheffield Hallam union on friday night... chucked out. Woke up coverd in blood and next to ollie!!! Saturday: camped overnight at Lawrence field, climbed there all afternoon. My first lead climbs, camp fire, zip wire and night climbing. Sunday we moved on to Millstone edge, sight of my first couple of VS routes (picture). Ran out of water so had to drink out of a puddle, apparently dogs don't piss in puddles. Went inddoor climbing on the monday, was exhausted.

Roots Train

2005-04-28T23:54:00.000Z

It's just that he doesn't like people looking at him.... explain the designer clothes, gelled hair and jewelry!? Is that you want people to look at you, but only in secret!? Woke up on jenna's floor!

Paintballing

2005-04-23T22:48:00.000Z

Following two nights of carnage on the medics army night out (we got on TV) and yet another Bop we went paintballing. Ric looked like he was about to be sick for a good four hours!! Absolutely rinsed of cash, but quite well bruised!

True love

2005-04-22T23:43:00.000Z

Graham and i playing lead roles in the latest action flick..... at thebop! i don't only go to the bop, it's just that the camera only ever seems to go to the bop!!

Boss the Boddingtons

2005-04-22T19:53:00.000Z

I physically couldn't drink six cans of boddingtons in one hour (which is what the rest of them did), after the previous nights full frontal alcohol atack! Ended at, you guessed it, the bop! Lots of boat racing.

Medics fancy dress party

2005-04-21T22:56:00.000Z

Dressd in full Nuclear Warfare suits 6 brave medics set forth onto the streets and drinking dens of manchester. It was such a good night that Mole lost the camera. Grenades, hedges, boat racing, glass dropping, fish bowls, TV appearances, passing out on Canal Street, slapping, searching for Tom and scaring the Taxi driver were enjoyed and mulled over the following day. And No I Don't Want To Do Anything On Her Face full stop.

Wanking

2005-04-18T15:17:00.000Z

Ouch

2005-04-17T13:49:00.000Z

Ewok village, Glentress

2005-04-16T22:08:00.000Z

Went to Edinburgh for the weekend to see Tim, Oliver and Sian. Did lots of cycling, went to the track and also mountain biking in Glentress, possibly some of the best trails i've ever ridden.

Arete Ben Nevis

2005-04-08T10:13:00.000Z

Jonny, Joe, Ric and I went on a road trip to Fort William in Scotland. We climbed Ben Nevis with upto 3 feet of snow on the top and wind chill amounting to -24 degrees. Apparently joe's fingers still feel wierd from the cold two months later. Was wicked climb got the odd fantastic view as the clouds rolled back on occasion. The highlight of it was the arete which was pretty daunting in deep snow.

Climbing on dancing ledge Dorset

2005-03-30T15:56:00.000Z

Went camping/climbing for couple of nights with ollie and tom purnell. Rained quite a bit but bolted climbing was awesome. Absailing down after topping out!

Val Thorens

2005-03-20T22:00:00.000Z

Skiing with redmans, did some big jumps... no pictures. Sorry!!!

North Bridge, Edinburgh

2005-03-17T13:04:00.000Z

Nearly fell off this bridge once!! I was walking along the parapet thingy and fell onto my face, fortunately not off to the side, managing to catch the wall. Probably being a little over dramatic though It was pretty scary. My companion tim shat himself. It's nice to know someone cares! P.S. Happy Birthday Mother

Medics Ball

2005-03-13T21:49:00.000Z

Got wasted... Mole cocked things up a bit

Abseiling

2005-03-12T14:48:00.000Z

Morning after the bop ollie and i abseiled down stairwell of main hall cus we were late for lunch

Ollie visits

2005-03-12T11:53:00.000Z

Ollie Came to stay, i took him to the OP bop (sorry Ollie), we got really drunk on hombrew, bourbon and coke and green monster, needless to say had lots of fun!

Hardcore smoker

2005-03-12T11:51:00.000Z

Graham has taken up casual smoking, its a learning curve!

Fell over

2005-03-12T11:50:00.000Z

Wonder women meets superman... great

2005-03-12T10:51:00.000Z

Approaching bristly ridge

2005-03-07T19:07:00.000Z

Went to capel Curig in Snowdonia for the weekend.
stayed in a hut didnt wash, got very drunk.
One guy couldnt find the toilets so he pissed on someone.
Did some awesome walking and climbing.

The Arch

2005-03-04T19:15:00.000Z

Went to Body and Soul.
Got stoned in middle of dance floor.
Woke up at 7.00 bed was rocking, music was still on.
Wicked night.

Climbing

2005-03-01T04:24:00.000Z

When one is drunk it is a well known fact that climbing stuff is always an amusing and exciting option. Trees, scaffolding, statues, fences, walls and lamposts are all fun, for that extra adrenaline rush climbing large buildings is the thing to content oneself with.

Ratty Ratcliff

2005-02-28T20:38:00.000Z

This is our northern monkey pal Ric, he wasn't very happy when an immature possy of young men took everything out of his room and put it in to the lavatory.

And then there were two.

2005-02-28T19:58:00.000Z

Tom is Not superman... dont believe his lies.
Jonny

Jonny post Bop

2005-02-28T19:55:00.000Z

This is Jonny, he is going to assist in trying to make this blog worth reading. He is now part of the "team"!

The weekend

2005-02-28T19:53:00.000Z

Had wicked weekend, i turned in to superman for one night and then woke up and was so scared i couldnt close my eyes. Now i'm not very well.......

getting to grips with blogging

2005-02-27T01:06:00.000Z

Highly complex business this, all the bumph said it was very simple

slapped

2005-02-27T00:48:00.000Z

Woke up at seven this morning because i'd passed out with my music still blaring, i was having a dream about shouting the word C**T in a church.... At which point i remembered getting slapped the night before! Quite a shocking thing to happen, remember being not quite sure of how to react.

Airport thursday 24th feb

2005-02-25T19:59:00.000Z

Went to Aiport to drown out pre exam result fears, turned out very nicely.
Didnt make lectures on Friday morning, passed exams though, scabby bastard...

Snowdonia

2005-02-21T06:30:00.000Z

Walking in Snowdonia today, this is view from top of Snowdon. There was lots of snow and we had to use ice axes. A jolly time was had by all!

Graham and the onion

2005-01-23T00:21:00.000Z

One particulary boring afternoon we bet graham £2.43 and 2 drying tokens he couldn't eat a whole onion... he couldn't!

Curtis

2004-12-10T20:39:00.000Z

Curtis is Dan's friend, he is a really cool crazy loon. he let us cut his hair off!

Scu Bar

2004-12-04T12:23:00.000Z

Tom Roberts' birthday celebrations.... dirty dancing galore

Centurians challenge

2004-11-28T20:46:00.000Z

A regular event on a Friday in Main Hall is the "Friday challenge" would you believe it.
I was sick after 83 shots of wife beater on this particular occasion!

Binface

2004-11-18T15:18:00.000Z

My Friend Jimmy

2004-11-01T20:58:00.000Z

Jimmy and Luke came to stay. Jimmy is an expert at enjoying himself, hopefully he will come again soon. He was sick ion my floor, which was slightly annoying although it was almost worth it because noodles came out of his nose.